you: oi wat u doin
you: how u been
you: long time no see
me: hey...who is this?
you: is dis nicole
me: yea
me: sorry, bad memory, remind me again?

and then you were offline.

and then that sinking feeling that you needed someone to know who you were sunk in. and im sorry.

i knew who you were.

i dont remember the last time you ever talked to me. i see you sometimes, lets say, every now and then somewhere between 6months to 2 years. and everytime i talk to you, as seldom and far between as conversations are between you and me, i want to tell you to stop looking....because everything you do doesnt get you closer to the things you want. im sorry, im so sorry. i probably won't see or hear from you again until we bump into each other (God, i hope we do). and i get that aching feeling, you wanted to talk to me because I know someone you want to meet. that someone inside of me. so i blew it. please be ok.

God, please let him be ok.