It seems negligence has befallen this here canvas. My words have a new container. Not that I endorse the "in with the new, out with the old" paradigm. I like old things, believe me! I think the old establishes a perimeter within which the new is born. But I feel I owe you explanation to why my writings have been scribbled on the new page rather than here. I think it's because the new one is now "open to public" as such (as is this one for those who explore). I have "hidden"myself and vulnerabilities since...forever (or 2005), revealing only to you few who knew this address - usually in riddles and choked sobs, hardly comprehensible. But this urgency to make things known and to do so with fervour has recently infected me. I don't think I have very much time anymore. Sort of like the realisation that I'm dying, because beautifully and thankfully, I am; and the only way to counter this sorrow of deteriorating flesh is to liberate the spirit, and live...just live in the remembrance of love. I like remembering that tomorrow is no promise, because it is a more awkward but solid truth than the assumption of forever. Anyway, my thoughts are not as intimate on the new one, I'll save my deepest sorrows for here. There is no obligation for you to follow both, wahaha, no obligation for you to follow either, I just thought it'd be polite to let you know.
I always hoped to change people with my words (edified by my actions). Because words carry meaning and I want the discovery of mine to influence the lives of- heck, everyone. I don't want to be a mouthful of idle words. I really, truly want to make people question the why's and how's of life. This whole "Christianity thing" is making me reconsider my lukewarm lifestyle.
I stumbled upon a verse that convicted me to the bone this morning, allow me to share:
it is description of one of the kings of Judah:
Amaziah was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem twenty-nine years. His mother's name was Jehoaddin; she was from Jerusalem. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but not wholeheartedly. 2Chronicles24:1&2. Read on to learn of his demise.
It's verse two that gripped me, because when I read it, I knew it was describing...me.
Oh yes, so this morning's restless reading reiterated yesterday's Sunday school's verse, which I explained to kids in grade 3 and 4. Since we live by the Spirit, keep in step with the Spirit. Galations5:25. Easy as pie right? Condition yourself to enjoy humble pie sister, or the words you produce will shame you.
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