because that's exactly what it means

She didn't know which she preferred - not liking the presents, or the fact that they all agreed it was something she's absoutely love. So then, was it that they didn't know her well, or they didn't know she'd changed. Because she wasn't the girl she was back then; she was much different, much changed. I suppose it disheartened her because they'd travelled with her most of the way and she enjoyed the fact that perhaps she was known for who she was, deeper than the exterior. Alas, perhaps not.

Apparently now, light was to be shed where she wished could be disclosed (from herself mainly). She wasn't known very well...at all, and this heartbreak simply tempted her to prop up those walls again.

Differently, though. Now she had also learnt she held influence over others. Now, she could want more expensive things and make others believe she did. She could become like stone, and hope (in her sinking realisations) that if she was purposely hardened, that someone(s) would purposely try to reach her. This was the next trial and error experiment in line since she had opened herself up as much as she knew how, only to be crestfallen at the little her best friends knew about her.


That new record player with the broken volume dial was her. She could be known but only so quietly all of the time. Why don't you know me? Why am I here again? Darn this circumstance, we're ever more apart now, in the time I was told to hold you up. But that's how it always is. Take it in stride, let your skin toughen, and don't forget to smile. It's the most important thing.

Because a smile is hope. And as much as it feels like a lie to wear sometimes, I think it actually forces you to hope. I couldn't stop loving you. I'm just learning that to say 'I love you', requires no exchange. For me to say that means you'll never need to know me in return. There. Stick it largey on your walls, write it on your arm everyday, because Love is amazing. & you're completely worth it. My complaints come to an end this early morning because today will start wonderfully, and I'll wake up to a day worth living.

Dear me, what happened to anticipation for tomorrow? What happened to my appreciation for today? Forgive my ignorance. Goodnight wishful thinking. Good morning everything beautiful.