rooted

i tried, for the second time this year to say goodbye.
the words, the action...failed me.
i suppose i am rooted a little deeper than i thought.
and my roots, entwined a little more in this network that is my friends, than i imagined.

I cannot leave. I could, but loose everything that I am in the process. My entire belief system weighs upon this love. I cannot turn away from it without loosing purpose, drive and hope. I won't say I wasn't a second away from jumping, but upon my attempt, I was help back by the love of my fellows and their prayers for me during my arm wrestle with irrationality. Plus, you managed to whisper There is still more that I have for you to do. I'm not done with you yet.

Little me, beside herself with tantrums.
Forgive, thanks.
Love, always.