blehblehblehworthlesswordsneedingescape

IM SO OVER UNIVERSITY.
i have no drive for uni. I've driven over the edge and i really don't want to go back. I'll enjoy my 3 month break and maybe defer the rest of next year. It pains me! i have an assignment that was due on wednesday, and i dont think i'll hand it in tomorrow because i dont feel like doing it and i couldnt care less. i started...and just never finished it. How immature.

I have a group assignment. And the only thing driving me to do it is the fact that the marks of my friends ride on my back. I really dont want to do this. I really don't. I CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH UNI! i feel like university is to blame for my lack of action down the roads I wish to travel. Yes, tell me how wrong I am!

But...I'd hate to be the girl who was recalled as "she who left the most effective path because she tried to chase the breeze." I have dreams. I do; they've just been in the waiting line for years now and they're tired. I don't know if in two or so years they'd still be as vivid as they began. I want to live those dreams but I want to do what's right. They should be related, they are. Geez, I hate time, I hate these monotonous lectures and overdue assignments of no value to me other than the money i pay (or will pay) to sit through them. And you wonder why I'm still complaining, I don't like being challenged in this area. I don't like university, I can't believe I've been so faithful to it up til now. I never enjoyed studying. oke, STOP!

I was initially overjoyed to find I was given a second round offer into this course. Because I was "unworthy". My enter was just under, apparently so were the numbers for the first round. What changed? How did i become so unwilling? How did i get to this place of ungratefulness and compromise?
I confuse and disgust myself at the same time. She's so darn selfish!
Just grow up!