I hate, I love, I need, I want.

hello, my today was quite under-achieved.
how was yours?

I hate failing.
I hate not having the ideal, the perfect, the intention.
I hate that fairytales are so loved and despised at the same time.
I hate that everyone has to protect themselves so thoroughly as not to be shattered.
I hate feeling like this.

I love that my feelings don't change my value to just one other.
I love that beauty, real beauty has nothing to do with my face.
I love that laughter is free and smiles are healing.
I love remembering that there are people who have my back and who intercede for me.
I love that my paranoid hallucinations pale when I find refuge in the arms of a never forsaking God whose peace transcends all understanding, whose love is absolute and whose word is truth.

The truth is what I need right now. Your love is what I want.