acrobatics cont...

She knew it. It resided somewhere amongst the deep mass of her hoarded head-knowledge. Somewhere between "animals can smell fear on you so don't let them know it" and "do not hold your breath while swallowing swords because your throat will tense" was the screaming knowledge "YOU HAVE A HARNESS, YOU WILL NOT DIE IF YOU JUMP".

Damnit. Why are my legs still composed of only jelly? Jump damnit! I can do this!

The ground seemed to shift beneath her every time she looked down. Her depth perception was deceiving her, she knew it was exaggerated (or was she actually that high?). What did it matter? She had a harness! She could not fall! Oh how she longed in early days to gracefully continue her beautiful heritage of acrobatics.

Father, Ric Ses-Thujs, how isit you did it? How is it I cannot?

It wasn't as if she didn't enjoy it, it was exhilarating to say the least! She could not take her eyes off the others when they performed their flying series. She never felt like she ever had a full breath when she was in the air yet it was the most satisfying moments she could imagine. It was freedom. It was in her blood... she was just yet to discover her ability. She wasn't hopeless. She knew it, her practices were well choreographed. But somehow, when push came to shove, in the performances that mattered she found herself shaken and insecure.

Damnit, why are there so many people ready to criticize?

And she hated how she brought shame to the family name, she beamed with pride when in the arms of her father, the great Acrobat Bravura, and when in the company of her grandfather, Dor Gold. She loved their work, their success, their belief, their strength, their confidence and authority over gravity. She'd seek their guidance on a frequent basis, although she knew she could've done so more often. Yet they had patience with her, they believed in her and that somehow...somehow, she too would be a great acrobat! However, she received many 'firm' words, firm but spoken out of a sometimes invisible love.

She practiced, and began taking on not only the movements but the standings her father taught her. One, vital standing, she had spent about 4 years trying to master. The perception of the crowd. The crowd did not consist of critics (although it very often seemed that way) but of willing acrobat-to-bes and novices who needed to observe to learn the techniques of the routines she performed.

23# Example and understanding come before the constructing of action and mastering of movement.

Thus she was not obligated for perfection to avoid scrutiny and criticism, but excellence was required in that the on lookers needed as accurate an example as possible to construct and connect technique with reason. The perception of the crowd affected very easily Kifonn-Kig's performance as fearing the crowd gave focus on what not to do, as opposed to seeing the crowd as novices needing teaching; giving focus on what to do right.

...
Another vital, she could not do acrobatics for herself alone; for all who persisted as such did not live happily ever after. Selfishness in the art of acrobatics which purposed to share and continue entertainment and enjoyment would either destroy the circus or the acrobat. One-man-teams were the fear of every circus, none could get by without the unity of each circus actor and conductor. She felt passionate to teach the younger onlookers anyway. She yearned to share her joy with them, demonstrate the freedom acrobatics gave her and how they too could further their skills through the art! She could not abandon her circus anyhow, with encouragement, cheer and joy they had spurred her on and she could recall many a time she was swayed from giving up.

(Wahahaha, i think structure and consistency are in lack this time! again, exhaustion tires my thoughts and fingers. G'night.)