breathings...they're everywhere.
just remains of my breath. waHAha!
The stars, they inspire me. They are so strong! So big, so bright!
Love. There isn't a big enough font for love. I don't know how the meaning or the demonstration, let alone the action could be mine. Forgiveness is the same.
Be bold, live a little! Who i am hates who ive been, who i am hates who ive been. I dont know why, it takes so long for me to change.

fly me to the moon and let me sit among the stars let me see what spring is like on jupiter and mars...in other words...

PLEASE BE TRUE! in other words i love you!

That Is All.

Hi.
I got your letter. I read it too fast, it wasn't long enough.
Your upset, the tapes were nice though, I liked the second recording a lot. I know, you know its never over. Although with obesity sweeping the nation, fat ladies may be singing sooner and more often. They won't be singing for you. Oh you can sing for me any day! You know if you're never discovered, you'll become a secret I won't ever forget...but if in the instant you become known for who you are, I'm glad for you. If they take you away, I trust you to know better from worse. You've taught me such yourself, and I know your hatred for hypocrisy; so don't change for the worse! And I hope you find her.
-N.
FictionLetter#1love

No, I didn't believe what happened when I read your letter for the first time. I'm still a little unsure. Its a crazy claim! I didn't know what to do with the photo. I keep it in my bedside drawer in one of my books, what if someone finds it, how do I begin to explain it? I don't understand why you brought me into this after what happened in that second exhibition, but I am very glad you did. And how on earth did you manage to get from England to Scotland so fast without a visa? What have you done? What are you doing? I have booked a flight to you for next week. I have found most of the information you requested. Who else have you told? Maybe I should get an earlier flight, I fear I might die of insane curiosity and contradiction. So this is life? Chasing a crazy, possibly imaginary theory/thing(no not imaginary for the photo claims otherwise...) ...I hope you are not playing me for a fool. I've been challenging my facts of this life and creatures since I recieved your letter. I haven't slept. These thoughts are so taxing and unbelievable I've become both physically and mentally exhausted though I hunger for the truth (which I know will exhaust me just as much as it might assure me). What shall you call it? You certainly can't go around calling it the Lockness monster!
Extract of FictionLetter#1imagery

la la ha ha ha ha!
-loveyouplenty ;)

Mumble humble.

God's capability to totally sweep his spirit and pierce the hearts of the willing is off the charts. I could claim that because you were not there you're idea of Incredible is rediculously low... and you might get defensive or curious, so i won't claim it, because it'd harden your resolve and you'd think "Your young...you don't know the world or any better"
That night.
Those nights.
Totally humbling.

God is the be-all and end-all.
Friends are pillars of strength.
God has given me friends who understand me. Blessed me with encouragement at the sight of them. I can name a few who have lately supported me so constantly I could have taken them for granted. JOSH, ROB, JONAH, PASTA
And I pray that you will see it through us. See the Spirit through us. Dare I say it is more pure now than it ever was through us. Or through me anyway.

To see it happen, to watch a small group of familiar faces totally abandoned in a yearning for the ultimate conviction, ultimate love. Totally lost to love. Lost to loved. Graditude falls so short.

Oh! There are also songs that were written by the youths. Incredibly encouraging songs written by a generation that lacks so much respect. Wisdom does not come with years, experiences do. But a more experienced someone is not necessarily wiser than another with less or different experiences. If you only knew how much more initiative the handful of younger takes than the many older...
(I admit to being of the many older, but hopefully for no longer)

Iloveit. Iloveyou. Ilovehowyouturnthingsintoyourway. Ilovehowyouloveusregardless.
"You loved, you loved a people undeserving."

You know those freak feelings that remind you of the reality and severity of that very active spiritual war? Well that. I am glad it happened... and it might sound cruel because it was not me that felt it, it was her. And it pushed her into panic but it also pushed her and myself closer to the solution: God. I don't want her to feel it again because she appeared in such helplessness that she found herself asking me to pray for her. I do not ever remember her asking such of me.
"I think its gone" is what she said after I prayed for her. God, I hope its gone. Now I'm so wary of this world; this crazy and fun facade compelling us to forget reality. Damn. I will forever be musing about reality.

On a lighter note all is well..as far as I'm concerned. Youth camp begins on Monday. I am going to help out (and witness something of a revolution that will hopefully sweep the church).

What I seek lately is joy. Not happiness, happiness is too fleeting; joy is never so. The image I have in my head of joy is that late night of prayer with journey at my place when we were starting to close, it was about 1am and we couldn't help giggling away some overflowing of crazy love, crazy joy.
That and last year's camp after room 13. We returned to the lesson trying to stifle giggles of who knows why? Something amazing.
And I know some people never feel it. That joy that is so aware, so honest, not anywhere near the drunk sort. Joy, it is a fruit of the spirit. A fruit, meaning it is the blooming result of a root in the Spirit. So then, will those never rooted ever feel anything of joy? (Those out of the spirit can love, can they not? Love is a fruit of the spirit. The same can be said about patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control but I just don't think the same of peace and joy. I don't know why.)
Happiness could be likened to joy, but should not be mistaken for. Right?

Mm, right there. That there is a mark of selfishness. There are more, but I clothe myself as not to reveil them all. I want to be better. I want so much to be like You, to be approved by You.

"The life of the Western world has given each of its children a sense of external power which is in many respects delusive. For not only is such power beyond the capacity of most men to use wisely, but it has a way of slipping from grasp when it is most needed. Above all, even when it can be used, its most resplendent successes fail to satisfy an inner requirement of which mankind has been conscious through all the ages, that which demands of life in at least some of its aspects and some of its moments that it be true, that it be good and that it be beautiful." (Lead, Kindly Light, Vincent Sheean ©1949)

I'm not satisfied living in yesterday's hour. Give me wisdom. Please, wisdom. Give me joy, be my strength! Love you plenty!

Transformers, centainly more than meets the eye!
Transformers was unbelievably, incredibly, insanely LIUESHMFHESKJYESGNFX...
...that means i cant find a word to describe how flipping great it was!

My cinema experiences are rare. Very few and far between. I think this was my 3rd movie this year. The last one before this was about 4months ago. CRAZY!

What a bombshell of action and awe. Because of my lack of movie experiences, I forgot how to suppress my excitement and/or fright. I let a train of accidental outbursts through the movie. It couldn't be helped. I got the fright of my life on a consistent basis. The movie was something so refreshing. he offered me his arm if i found the need to grasp it in my unstable nature throughout the movie. Of course i declined! He is quite a flirt! between you and me.
well... its a tad novel cos i don't get that attention. I hang out with my life friends who are like family, so... you could say the flirting in welcome. Who ever knew anyone who didnt like the occasional flirt!Now my want for a car grows stronger, yet my means of achieving is not.
What to do. I pray that an un-exploiting employer wants me and finds me.
Til then, I will survive.

Switched on the tv, Pete's dragon.
There was the sweetest duet, between Peter and Nora
It's Not Easy
Pete:He has the head of a camel,the neck of a crocodile
Nora:It sounds rather strange
Pete:He's both a fish and a mammal
And I hope he'll never change
'Cause it's not easy
To find someone who cares
Nora:It's not easy to find magic in pairs
Pete:I'm glad I found himI love him, I won't let him get away
'Cause it's not easy.
Nora:You say the head of a camel
The neck of a crocodile
Pete: And the ears of a cow!
Nora:It's clear that friends can be different
Yes, I understand you now
Both:It's not easy to find someone who cares
It's not easy to find magic in pairs
Nora:Now that you have him, hold him
Treasure him from day to day.It's so easy.
Nora:Life is lollipops and raindrops with the one you love
Someone you can always be with
Argue and agree with
Pete:Climb the highest tree with.
Both:It's not easy to share somebody's dream
It gets easy hhen you work as a team
Nora:You've got to tend it, fan it
Pete:That's what I plan to do.
Oh, I had one friend by my side....Now I have two
...Him and you...
Nora: Him and me...
Both: And it's so easy.

I don't know what I am listening to, pbs fm 10:41pm sunday night. I like it. The music, it's kind of like an escort, but open to imagination's manipulation. Though I'm not certain I am in complete control of the effect it has on me. The music... it teases, it comforts, and flirts. I'm a little smitten by the mystery. Or a lot. It will do for now.

So it was prophesied on wednesday. It was not bad news, nor was it entirely pleasant. It had both, but neither without the other. I don't know what to expect or when. I was told "soon". I miss the company. Damn I miss your company. I don't know how it happens, it always happens though. It eats me. I find people to share myself with and they will be friends for life, but the intesity of my ideal friendship cannot last much more than a couple months, that itself might be an 'achievement'. So it goes, always changing, yet so far that fact has not. I will miss you. And will always love you!
Enter
Enter
Enter
Enter

The sky is constant. The clouds just make it look like its not. I think the sky is always the same. Even at night. We just can’t see it the same because the sun doesn’t shine up on it for us.

But I can’t explain how the blue sky goes orange or purple like when paint pallets mix. It just does. And I still think the sky is constant.

But I know nothing is constant, we seem to be destroying it. Us. Our comfort is always at the expense of someone or something else. All those black balloons are putting a hole in it.

Love’s a funny thing.

Freedom’s something wholly crazy.

This road, If you want me to, Free. Ginny Owens. She’s a brilliant artist. The words in her songs are so honest, I don’t know anyone to not relate. Oh, and she’s blind, but you’d never know it; it doesn’t stop her from playing the piano. Friend, she’s mellow.

Famished but I’m comfortable here. Anyway, eating out alone isn’t very eventful. I’ll eat a little on the train ride back.

Hope for tomorrow. Hope for a good tomorrow. OR Just hope!

So if I took some time, some wine, a canvas, some paint and remembered an old idea that i quickly scribbled a good few years ago... I would achieve something arty-farty, but finally achieve it none the less and tick it off my Want-to-do-when-I-have-a-whole-day-to-do-it list. No, I don't like drinking wine; tastes horrid! But I think there is no better way to express wine then by actually using wine to paint. Or perhaps spilling wine in the write places.
......

Do you know those balance water bottles that are simply shaped but stupidly priced (they are sold at coles, I have yet to see them in safeway). Yes, just visualise with me. If one third of the water was drank (drunk? drinken? drunken) so that two thirds was left, and you tried to balance it horizontally holding it simply in the middle with just one hand. It becomes very clumsy and balance is mostly precarious. It takes the slightest of anything before the water tips more to one side than the other and when you try to quickly bring it back to equilibrium and it rushes to the other side and to and fro and to and fro till you let it settle, or give up. or yada yada

Well that. Balancing responsibilities kinda feels like that. I woudln't say I am irrisponsible and I hope you don't think that. I don't have a choice, and I am being forced to learn and adapt quickly; and be boring if you will. I will try; and fail as I might, learning is the ongoing process, and humble pie I pressume is waiting for me somewhere along my travel. So, if you have nothing on your agenda, then I would gladly accept and appreciate the company. You know what they say:
"The road is never long with good company!"
And you know it!

No, i don't think i understand.

Its taking too long. Why does it take so long?

I have to commit to this higher education if i want to become a teacher. I want to become a teacher. But it takes 4 years, and i feel like, i dont feel like im doing much.

I think this rethink is thanks to raCh, and that greeaatt video she and adora made. Wow, its really contagious. She got a passion for making poverty history! Wow. and now i wanna get involved, maybe its something about working together for the better of the world. Maybe. raCh! your beautiful! very inspiring. I think theres a lot for me to learn from you!

God bless you and all who go on that road trip! You're doing a great thing! Will be seeing you on the holidays!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ncQdJ5TSMI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fpaintedbones%2Ewordpress%2Ecom%2F

be inspired!----^

exam tomorrow and i dont feel like it. It takes so long, but it will take me to where i want to go. Though it doesn't mean i cannot do other things in the mean time. Maybe it's simple.

Yesterday i walked into the Mens room. Why? Because i felt like it.
That, and I was so involved with my conversation with Angel on the phone that i just kept walking....Forget that I opened the door and brushed passed a guy on his way out, and that confused look on his face. I open this door, to be greeted with guys turning around to a loud talking voice of feminine on the phone to her friend. BANG. Oh Hello. Yeah, it hit me...My bad, wrong room!
What do i do? I whirl around to see Grace very satisfied, utterly shocked and on the verge of laughter. So no words are exchanged, and I walk straight out as if it were a natural occurring of mine. I hang up on angel, we walk straight into the LADIES and burst out laughing! Flustered and totally hysterical. Yes, and that was just the start of the night...

Well, then we go up to the little box of people who give us tickets to see movies.
"Hi! can we please have 4 tickets to oceans 13"
"Umm...it's not showing til next week"
"Oh."
How Grace and I missed the date on the showing times when we checked for movies...I don't know.

Well, then gullible me, falls for a prank by these randoms who gave out photos and told me to present it at the ticket box for a prize. "They'll know what it means". Oke! Grace got one too,. but she's not all for making a fool of herself. Oh, and the randoms video me from a distance.

Well, yada yada...skip to the end of the night. Time to take us home, Grace first, then me.
We get in the car, Grace starts laughing and tells me to look through my window. I don't. And she keeps telling me, till I do. This goon decides to change his pants, so I finally look to my right to be greeted with a white ass crack and a silly face. I think I've been humiliated enough.

Apparently not. I try start the car. It doesn't start. What the? The car isn't starting. Then i see that I left my headlights on and my batteries have died. I just about died with them. I call dad. He comes. Jumpstart. I send Grace home. I go home. I watch dad charge the battery. He goes to sleep. I go to sleep.

Oh what a sleep. Charming couldn't even wake me!

I wake up and dad's written a list of my new limitations. Way to start the morning! Ally's pumpkin scones do the trick. Gotta love her!

Lessons learned:
1) Check the date when checking out movies.
2) Remember to switch of headlights.
3) Call friends out or find friends nearby when jumpstart is needed (I now know how to jumpstart and charge battery, and have the right cables in the car)
4) Walk into the correct bathroom.
5) Don't order Japanese Calpis drinks from star east. (It sounds disgusting...Calpis, no matter how you try to say it, it sounds like Cow piss)
...I might have learnt more. Oh a very eventful night!

I doubt I can fail to entertain company when I've got a knack for attracting disaster.
No regrets, I'll have plenty of stories to tell the grandkids! Wahahahaha!

Encore.

oh i love our Journey! Thanks guys.
...and so went on, the adventures of...the Insano Flying Kid.

Celine Dion is good study music!
Rocks for raisins!

"Sing for your supper!" shrieked the lady. Well you could hardly call her a lady, she wore a respectable gown with material that looked like and matched well with the traditional green, patterned purple, curtain drapes. Her face however...was grey. Who has a grey face? She had a grey face! I don't know how, but she did. And her features were startling! Ears that looked like scallops, they were tiny and had a lack of detail. It was not purposely curved like yours and mine, but of quick and clumsy design. Her nose was like an upside down ear but thicker, with no holes or details. Her eyes were large. Yes, quite large. They reminded me of Synthia's goldfish, except this crazy woman’s wasn’t bloodshot, and she could blink, and her eyes were a little less swollen and they weren’t popping out of her head. Believe me! If you were there, you’d see what I mean! Her mouth was juicy. No, I did not want to eat her lips or kiss her. But her lips were juicy! They were proportionate and were this kind of richness that reminded me of corn beef. The really-tasty-full-of-flavour-but-not-my-favourite kind of beef. Oh, and she spat when she talked, I’m no dentist, but she needed braces.

I was rather confused. I was commanded to sing for my supper.
“Umm, Miss, but I’ve made my own supper.”
“So sing for it!”
“Why do I need to sing for it?”
“Do you want it back?”
“What are you talking about?..” Yes, and then it hit me and my heart sank
“..you wouldn’t”
“Just watch me.” Oh how it pained me to see her lips curve into that stupid smile. What was I to do? I had made this marvellous cake and this crazy lady had stolen it.

And I could tell you the rest, but it’s a long story. And that is why I didn’t get much work done. I had to sing my cake back…or try to. In the end, she wouldn’t give me my cake back so I had to steal it back. Credit also to a horse on a skateboard who helped me. I called him Shord because he was a Skating Horse On a boaRD. Smart huh! Oke Dokily. Now I have to try get myself back to my own time and home so I can get some study done!

;)